The cyber lothario - dating
Are you journalism to a big shot who is romancing you off your feet? Does this guy seem to know just what to say or write that gets you a step or two added down the patch path?
Perhaps more hazardous than the notorious Internet rapists and murderers are the Cyber Lotharios. Maybe you know one. Downy as silk. Seduction is his native language.
More dangerous, as these guys (well, maybe there are girls too, but I am more accustomed with the guys) are GOOD.
These guys are the Internet corresponding of a Bill Clinton, if Bill Clinton hadn't gotten caught. They are the cyber account of abundant -- they write beautifully, know just what you want to hear and tell you. They POUR it on, and for a craving woman, it is nectar from the Gods.
These fellows post on dating sites indefinitely, behind you for the unsuspecting newbie to the dating site. You might commerce him, he might acquaintance you, but like a used car salesman, he knows a pigeon when he sees one.
Then slowly, softly, but determinably, he has his way with you.
How do you tell if you have one of these guys on the wire? What if he is a actually nice guy, exceedingly denotation every word he says?
Well, one thing would be if you find physically in accord to effects that you never would if you were in your right mind. Especially if that has to do with sex. Or maybe money.
These guys make exploitation feel like a warm bath. You just slide right in and it feels delicious.
But there is a a few vagueness, acutely about past relationships, and maybe about coming plans. These guys may reassure, but they also will leave themselves a way out.
How can you tell?
Well, one thing you can do is ask for a bond history. Then pay concentration to how he responds, as well as what he in reality says.
Does he groan and moan about doing the job? Is he reluctant in what he tells you? Or is he open and serious, appreciation what you are asking and why?
Does he seem to have agitate recall his own history, what her name was, what order the altered relationships came in? Is he disinclined to divulge, or does he sound like he is fudging?
Does he seem to be emotive you fast towards a romantic getaway? Maybe he makes plans for the two of you to meet, and coffers only one room. Is he brutally sexually indicative and titillating? Does he ask questions like "What kind of lingerie are you wearing?"
Even despite the fact that a new and legitimate connection can be amply sexually charged, a guy who is critically attracted in you and a achievable coming with you will be protecting and agreement of you and your feelings.
If you feel antsy, pay attention.
If your hormones may be doing your thinking, put on the brakes.
Change for the better to let this hazardous Clark Gable type swim away than to be left flat and busted.
Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach
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